I'm 26 years old now and not getting any younger. I've tried to relive my younger/college days to no avail. Why? I say, is it, that I can no longer do what I used to do? I believe that every male human being hits his peak at 23 years old. At that age, one finds himself, usually (and hopefully) working a full-time job, and starting to get the worst hangovers of his life. I have been accused, once or twice, of being called "Old Man Means" by my "Old Lady" over the last couple of years, and have kind of taken it to heart. But after awhile I learned to quit swimming against the stream and embrace the fact I am getting older. I believe that there are many around me that still prefer to swim against the stream of aging, but I believe they are denying the inevitable. Men, at my age, should being doing manly things. I currently live in the Central Texas area, and quite enjoy it, instead of possibly living in more "happening" places like Dallas, and do not apologize for living here. I hated it here at first, but for once I have embraced not having to be in the "in" crowd. I am a f***ing adult, a grown ass man, and really don't give a rats ass what anybody thinks of me anymore. Over the last couple of months, I have met some very interesting people (usually older), and really have learned a lot about life and how to act and be a real man or an adult. So in this article I have listed the things many people at my age practice and what they should be doing instead. So here goes the list:
1. The obligation to go to the hip/new bar or club,......instead, go to the hole in the wall, a "real" pub, or the local watering hole. First you don't need to be dressed up. Fake people won't show up. Girls, many of you just look awkward and uncomfortable in high heels and puke down the front of your Versace dress. REAL people go to the local watering holes. These are the type of places where you can go to and speak to people about adult issues, about important issues, and not about who's new fashion line just came out and why daddy bought you a BMW instead of a Mercedes. And, if you go with friends, you know that its all about friendship and a good times (with cheap drinks). Anyways, who wants to pay for $9 beers, when you can pay $1.50 and have a genuinely good time. And table service,......well save those for celebrations, bachelor parties, birthdays, and the like. Nothing makes you more narcissistic than hanging around a table secluded from everyone else at a crowded club trying to look important; we all know you ain't shit and are "really," in the big scheme of things, not that significant.
2. Bonging beers, sake bombs, or jager shots,......instead drink a real man's drink/ adult drink. Jager tastes like cough syrup, anyone who says it tastes good is a f***ing idiot or in college (no offense to college college students, drink up!). If your drink consists of more than 2 ingredients, possibly 3, you need to grow up. This goes for any drink that is supposed to be drank as fast as possible. If any drink requires you to drink it as fast as possible it means that drink tastes like shit and is completely vile. At my age, who the f*** wants to get fucked up that fast? Listen to people who can tell you their favorite whiskey, scotch, or tequila that they drink straight up or with one single mixture. These people can tell you exactly why they drink this particular liquor, most other people drink certain drinks cause its sweet or makes them look "cool." Examples of people who drink "real" drinks are my friends Chris Lamas and Cayce Lay (if you don't know them then you should get to know them, you will find them probably at the new Rahr & Sons Brewing Company in Ft. Worth when it opens back up soon).
3. Smoking cigarettes,......instead smoke cigars. Life is too short to smoke shitty tobacco sticks. The crappiest tobacco that is inlaid with industrial waste goes into cigarettes. The best and most cared for tobacco plants go into making cigars. "Real" people and adults smoke cigars, and the rest, well smoke the refuse of the tobacco heap. I recommend smoking anything by Pete Johnson, Ernesto Padilla, Don Pepin Garcia, or by the Oliva family. If Hemingway smoked cigars, then you should put down the cigarettes and smoke cigars,....just saying.
4. Watching American Idol or any other reality t.v. show,......instead watch CNN, BBC, or for God's sake read a f***ing book. It's sad when today's youth can tell you their favorite reality t.v. show but can't tell you the last book they read. The reality t.v. shows of today are the perfect examples of the dumbing down of America, they only make you more stupid. Hell, most people my age can't even have a decent conversation with you about the current affairs going on in the world, 'cause they have no f***ing idea what goes on in other countries. Most people can't even point out Iraq on a map; if your one of these people then you need to reevaluate the direction of your life.
5. Not vote,......instead vote. I don't want to hear your complaints of the federal government unless you participate in it. Unless you you lead a militia of ex-military, anti-government thugs whom are poised to overthrow the government and refuse to vote, then you need to vote.
6. Living with the 'rents,......get a "real" job and move the f*** out. Nothing says "Billy Madison" other than still living with your parents at 26. This goes for the sappy ass europeans whom live with their parents 'til 30 until they get married. Nothing else spells "sad" like trying to bone your girlfriend or a one night stand while trying not to awaken your parents. Instead, take them to a hotel like a real man,...and I don't mean Motel 6!
7. Attend your 10 year high school reunion,......instead get your best friends together and NOT attend your 10 year reunion and attend a local bar as mentioned in #1. I hate small talk, I have nothing I want to talk about with people I don't currently hang out with. We live in the 21st century with things such as Facebook, I'm sure you can catch up with people through it. Plus I would hate to see the sorry saps that try to impress their fellow former class mates with how "successful" they are now. Real "success' is done subtly and is not showy, so why the need to go through this hell?
8. Eat the same foods,.......instead eat new stuff regularly. Life is boring if you eat the same thing all the time and don't explore the bounty of different dishes that this world provides. You might be surprised what you may like. Quit being small minded and considering other culture's food vile while you have never tried it. Plus, you might be surprised at how much more healthier other culture's foods are compared to the crap we get in our local grocery store. Working in the health field, I feel comfortable in saying we, Americans, have the worst diet on earth.
9. Travel locally,......instead travel internationally. And when I say travel internationally, I mean travel to areas of the earth that test your comfortableness. Travel, should be an awakening, an adventure, and fun. What's fun about traveling to a place that seems safe, or a place you already know what one should expect? If you already know what you should expect from a country that you are thinking of traveling to then you should travel elsewhere. Move out from under the rock you live in and explore the world from within the one you reside in. Doing this will make your life much more interesting and make you more mature as a human being. Seeing how other human beings live may make one reevaluate how you live and see the world. Plus you will learn that there are other places that you can live, other than America, that may bring you more happiness in life (I believe Texas is the best place ever, but America, in general, is way overrated,.....I may be biased).
,........These are just a few of the things that come to mind that, as I've aged, I believe that people should do or already should be doing at my age. This probably will be a first part of a series of articles on this subject. So if you all have other suggestions for people my age then please comment or send me an e-mail.
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